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Let’s all face it. It’s a religion so why don’t we see this?!
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Welcome to the First Church of Emasculate Perceptions
As you enter please understand our religion is young in this country but ancient
in its power and roots. We have come here from afar having been beaten back in many places of the world. All we ask for is
your understanding and an ear along with a few simple tithes. We have cast off the yoke of materialism and now care for the
weak and down trodden by making more of them. Our mission is to let people know they are miserable even when they were unaware
of their horrible condition before our arrival. If we see happiness we cast it down and then resurrect it having made it in
our image.
We ask little monetarily because that is never a problem for us. We will guilt
others for their success until they willingly give up what we want. The tithes we ask of you are simple and easily given by
most people. They are common sense, logic, self motivation, personal responsibility and that annoying thing that so often
gets in the way of a good time any how….your conscience. What you will receive in return is many times what you give
up. Please sit while we tell you what you will gain from our efforts on your behalf. First we have to decide what we are to
do about a certain infidel. Please be seated everyone. Brother Hillary will be reading an Internet posting by an infidel who
was foolish enough to even sign his name:
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“Maybe we can just handle this liberal religion by doing to them what they
have managed to do to so many others by using loopholes in the law. Partial birth abortion is accomplished by turning the
fetus around so it is a breech birth. Until the head is out it isn’t considered an infant with all of the legal protections
lent to human beings. Before the head comes out it can be killed. I propose we threaten to follow these people around and
wait for them to sneeze. When a person sneezes, their heart stops and that is one of the signs of not being alive. If we hit
them in the head with a hammer as the heart stops during a sneeze, can we be accused of actually killing them? Weren’t
they technically dead already? I think we need to go get a reading from the Supremes on this first of course.
In all honesty I have always had a bit of a problem regarding abortion. Those who can’t remember to use birth control
and can’t control their self indulgent urges and are more inclined to go and get abortions, probably aren’t the
type of people we want raising children. I suspect the partial birth abortion deaths may actually be accidental. As we all
know liberals always take too much. There is a possibility they are simply trying to find a new way to create more liberals
but accidentally take too much. Maybe we can form a committee and do a tax funded study into this matter. We need to determine
if these deaths are accidental or just typical behavior.
This is the same bunch that cut
our military and spread it all over the Globe and celebrated attacking Yugoslavia when it served no purpose to America to
do so. It was celebrated as a selfless act by the administration. I guess absorbing a few nukes is also considered a selfless
act just like taking the launch codes was a selfless act. To show that they have really changed, the Russians have now completed
Yamantau Mountain and all of the tunnels connecting it to the various parts of the country, so they can safely have a nuclear
exchange with us. They were also kind enough to give Gore their endorsement in the last election. The Democrats have been
kind enough to try to disarm the American populace so they will be safer when they arrive to conquer us and they have also
selflessly fought attempts to build an ABM system. Clinton was generous enough to allow the Chinese take over both ends of
the Panama Canal and build the base in Freeport, Bahamas without so much as the obligatory whimper. This is what the Democratic
Party has become. They are either traitors, on the other side and saying do what you want with the women and children please
just don't hurt me, or they are absolutely clueless and fail at understanding history.
I
personally believe that abortion is a self sorting problem they are eating their young. They are in a sense declaring a death
sentence on themselves and their ilk. It is one of the rare instances of intellectual integrity on their part.” |
“Heathen!”
“Infidel!!”
“Sexual
McCarthyistic Conservative!!!”
"What does the congregation feel we should do with
this infidel?”
“Let’s accuse him of being a defender of the weak!”
"We can’t do that. We are claiming that moral high ground. Babies are simply dangerous and cause people to become conservative
due to the sudden responsibility that comes with the baby. We are protecting the parents from the babies."
“What are we going to get in payment for this? I’m just wondering before I finish selling out.”
In payment for your souls you will receive: collective looting rights, the right to say or do anything you want and claim
“Constitutional Rights” to do so. Anyone who speaks against you is in violation of the holy Constitution, the
document that was used as the doormat in the Clinton administration but was not harmed because it is a living document kept
alive by our endless meddling with its intent.
Okay Congregation join in with me as we stand
to rededicate ourselves to our cause!
“We have moral superiority because we have none.”
“Morals
are to be used as the ties with which we bind our enemies.”
“We shalt have no frauds
above the Liberal Cause.”
“The cornerstone that binds our holey church is Abortion
so we don’t have to deal with our own mistakes.”
"Let’s hear it everybody
the DNC motto!"
“Eagles may soar higher but weasels never get sucked into jet engines.”
Amen,
and Yeah Brother!
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